Wednesday, July 6, 2011

the dilemma

I love to travel and meet new people and see new places but I am also a home body who likes to keep my work routine and see all my friends.

In my personal life I have grown up with only a mum and a brother as my immediate family growing up in state housing on sole parent payments with mum not working until I was 7 and then working as a teachers aid (a very good one at that) but with no higher education that year 12 equivalency. My maternal grandparents took over a lot of our upbringing when mum was at work and also financially when times where tuff. I remember all of the good and the bad times of my upbringing.
I chose my career at 14 and have worked hard to get where I am with only a TAFE qualification and a lot of long hours and hard work. I have been paid a very low wage for busting my ass off in labs (16hr days for $14hr) and still having to pay all my bills even when I was living at home. I know what it is like to want something and work hard for it but I also have been at the bottom with no way out. But now I have a comfortable work life and have a good social life to go with it. I have traveled interstate and overseas to see family but always on my own terms and my own money and with a strict budget, I have also had a bad situation when traveling and was so happy to have had a fantastic support network to help me, from that experience I learnt how quick things can go terribly wrong that are beyond your control .

That is why when my boyfriend of 4 years says he wants to move to Germany for a year ASAP ,without a job or home to go to, and wants me to go with him it makes me break out into a could sweat and have chronic panic attacks.

I love my boyfriend so much but his view on life is not the same as mine. He is university educated in a field where (as he is always telling me) that all of your best computer programming work is done by the time your 30. He has been overseas many times but has been unemployed at some time every year I have known him for a period of more than 4 months and did not start to work in his field until he was 25 and is making a lot of money in jobs that he rushes into without actually looking at what he will be doing every day. Both his parents are university educated with houses that they own, his dad retired at 55 and his mum flits from one job to another. His idea has come out of boredom from his jobs, panic in commitment and a nee jerk reaction to getting older.

Apart from spending time learning German over the past year he has coasted through live behaving like peter pan. I have been looking after myself (and sometimes my family) since I was 12. I have had to make adult decisions even though I wish I didn't have to about my self and others. So if I am to move it will be well thought out and planned.

This is going to be the theme of my blog. Travel plans and tips with some of my favorite thing as well.

see ya , Beth

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